San Clemente Water Polo Club's policy regarding bullying is in alignment with the expectations of USA Water Polo.

 

What Is Considered Bullying & Hazing

According to the US Department of Health & Human Services and the Stop Bullying program, "Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time."

Bullying can take many forms. Verbal bullying includes teasing, name-calling, taunting, or threatening to cause harm. Physical bullying includes hitting, kicking, pinching, spitting, tripping, pushing, taking or breaking someone's things, or making mean or rude hand gestures. And finally bullying can be social, often times called 'relational bullying', when someone is left out on purpose, when someone tells others to not be friends with someone, when a person spreads rumors about another, or when a person consistently and intentionally embarrasses another in public.

Hazing is taking these same activities of harassment, abuse or humiliation and using them as a way of initiating a person into a group or a team.

 

Bullying and Hazing In Sports

Sadly, bullying and hazing behavior in youth and high school sports has oftentimes been excused as "kids being kids", "team initiation" or "part of our tradition." But while coaches and team captains sometimes defend hazing practices as activities that create team bonding, the research has clearly shown that hazing deprives both the hazed and the hazers of true, valid team-building.

Making teammates dress in a costume, wearing something that is humiliating, eating disgusting or very spicy food, drinking large quantities of water, requiring strenuous calisthenics, memorizing trivial information, or acting as a 'servant' are all examples of activities labeled 'initiations' that are hazing. And while they may seem innocent, they can have a negative effect on children's psyches and their enjoyment of being part of the team.

 

Zero Tolerance For Bullying or Hazing

San Clemente Water Polo Club has recently adopted a zero-tolerance policy for bullying or hazing by any member of the club. Instead of using activities that diminish, belittle and bully athletes, our club is commited to fostering a positive youth sports environment by focusing on team bonding and team building exercises that bring about camaraderie as well as learning the essential elements of the game of water polo. Bullying of any kind is unacceptable at San Clemente Water Polo Club and will not be tolerated. Bullying is counterproductive to team spirit and can be devastating to a victim. Our club is committed to providing a safe, caring and friendly environment for all of our members. If bullying does occur, all athletes and parents should know that incidents will be dealt with promptly and effectively. Anyone who knows that bullying is happening is expected to tell a coach or the club director as soon as possible. There is no express time limit for initiating a complaint, but every effort should be made to bring the complaint to the attention of the appropriate club leadership as soon as possible to make sure that memories are fresh and behavior can be accurately recalled and the bullying behavior can be stopped as soon as possible.

 

How We Handle Bullying

If bullying is occurring during team-related activities, we STOP BULLYING ON THE SPOT using the following steps:

- Intervene immediately. It is ok to get another adult to help.
- Separate the people involved.
- Make sure everyone is safe.
- Meet any immediate medical or mental health needs.
- Stay calm. Reassure those involved, including bystanders.
- Model respectful behavior when you intervene.

If bullying is occurring at our club or it is reported to be occurring at our club, we address the bullying by FINDING OUT WHAT HAPPENED and SUPPORTING THOSE INVOLVED using the following approach:

 

Finding Out What Happened

First, we get the facts.

- Keep all those involved separate.
- Get the story from several sources, both adults and kids.
- Listen without blaming.
- Don't call the act "bullying" while trying to understand what happened.

It may be difficult to get the whole story, especially if multiple people are involved or the bullying involves social bullying or cyber bullying. Collect all available information.

Then, we determine if it's bullying. There are many behaviors that look like bullying but require different approaches. It is important to determine whether the situation is bullying or something else. To determine if the behavior is bullying or something else, we consider the following questions:

- What is the history between those involved?

- Have there been past conflicts?

- Is there a power imbalance? Remember that a power imbalance is not limited to physical strength. It is sometimes not easily recognized. If the targeted person feels like there is a power imbalance, there probably is.

- Has this happened before? Is the person worried it will happen again?

Remember that it may not matter "who started it." Some kids who are bullied may be seen as annoying or provoking, but this does not excuse the bullying behavior.

Once we have determined if the situation is bullying, we support all those involved.

 

Supporting Those Involved

Support those who are being bullied

- Listen and focus on those involved.

- Learn what's been going on and show we want to help.

- Assure the person that bullying is not their fault.

- Work together to resolve the situation and protect the bullied person. The child, parents, and fellow team members and coaches may all have valuable input. It may help to:

- Ask the child being bullied what can be done to make him or her feel safe.

- Remember that changes to routine should be minimized.

- He or she is not at fault and should not be singled out. For example, consider rearranging grouping assignments for everyone. If bigger moves are necessary, such as switching practice groups, the child who is bullied should not be forced to change.

Develop a game plan. Maintain open communication between the Club and parents. Discuss the steps that will be taken and how bullying will be addressed going forward.

Be persistent. Bullying may not end overnight. Commit to making it stop and consistently support those who are bullied.

 

Address The Bullying Behavior

- Make sure the person knows what the problem behavior is. People who bully must learn their behavior is wrong and harms others.
- Show kids that bullying is taken seriously. Calmly tell the child that bullying will not be tolerated. Model respectful behavior when addressing the problem.
- Work with the child to understand some of the reasons he or she bullied. For example:Sometimes people bully to fit in or just to make fun of someone who is a little different from them. In other words, there may be some insecurity involved. Other times people act out because something else (issues at home, abuse, stress) is going on in their lives. They also may have been bullied. They may be in need of additional support.
- Involve the perpetrator in making amends or repairing the situation. The goal is to help them see how their actions affect others. For example, they can: Write a letter apologizing to the athlete who was bullied, do a good deed for the person who was bullied, for the Club, or for others in our community.
- Clean up, repair, or pay for any property they damaged.
- Avoid strategies that don't work or have negative consequences: Zero tolerance or "three strikes, you're out" strategies don't work. Suspending or removing from the people who bully does not reduce bullying behavior. Others may be less likely to report and address bullying if suspension or getting kicked off the team is the consequence. Conflict resolution and peer mediation don't work for bullying. Bullying is not a conflict between people of equal power who share equal blame. Facing those who have bullied may further upset kids who have been bullied.
- Follow-up. After the bullying issue is resolved, continue finding ways to help the perpetrator to understand how what they do affects other people. For example, praise acts of kindness or talk about what it means to be a good club member

- Support bystanders who witness bullying.

 

** THANK YOU TO USA WATER POLO AND THE SAN CLEMENTE AQUATICS TEAM FOR THE LANGUAGE WE USED TO DESCRIBE OUR APPROACH**